Crazy Tronners :: View topic - The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs by A. Wolf

P4 · Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 12:34 am

Maybe you haven't read this so here it is Smile

The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs. A. Wolf wrote:

Everybody knows the story of the Three Little Pigs. Or at least they think they do. But I'll let you in on a little secret. Nobody knows the real story, because nobody has ever heard my side of the story.
I'm the wolf. Alexander T Wolf. You can call me Al. I don't knew how this whole Big Bad Wolf thing got started, but it's all wrong.
Maybe it's because of our diet.
Hey, it's not my fault wolves eat cute little animals like bunnies and sheep and pigs. That's just the way we are. If cheeseburgers were cute, folks would probably think you were Big and Bad, too.
But like I was saying, the whole Big Bad Wolf thing is all wrong. The real story is about a sneeze and a cup of sugar. This is the real story.
Way back in One Upon a Time time, I was making a birthday cake for my dear old granny.
I had a terrible sneezing cold.
I ran out of sugar.
So I walked down the street to ask my neighbor for a cup of sugar.
Now this neighbor was a pig.
And he wasn't too bright, either.
He had built his whole house out of straw.
Can you believe it? I mean who in his right mind would build a house of straw?
So of course the minute I knocked on the door, it fell right in. I didn't want to just walk into someone else's house. So I called, "Little Pig, Little Pig, are you in?" No answer.
I was just about to go home without the cup of sugar for my dear old granny's birthday cake.
That's when my nose started to itch.
I felt a sneeze coming on.
Well I huffed.
And I snuffed.
And I sneezed a great sneeze.
And you know what? That whole darn straw house fell down. And right in the middle of the pile of straw was the First Little Pig-dead as a doornail.
He had been home the whole time.
It seemed like a shame to leave a perfectly good ham dinner lying there in the straw. So I ate it up.
Think of it as a big cheeseburger just lying there.
I was feeling a little better. But I still didn't have my cup of sugar. So I went to the next neighbor's house. This neighbor was the First Little Pig's brother. He was a little smarter, but not much. He had built his house of sticks.
I rang the bell on the stick house.
Nobody answered.
I called, "Mr. Pig, Mr. Pig, are you in?"
He yelled-back, "Go away wolf. You can't come in. I'm shaving the hairs on my chinny chin chin."
I had just grabbed the doorknob when I felt another sneeze coming on.
I huffed. And I snuffed. And I tried to cover my mouth, but I sneezed a great sneeze.
And you're not going to believe it, but this guy's house fell down just like his brother's.
When the dust cleared, there was the Second Little Pig-dead as a doornail. Wolf's honor.
Now you know food will spoil if you just leave it out in the open. So I did the only thing there was to do. I had dinner again. Think of it as a second helping. I was getting awfully full. But my cold was feeling a little better. And I still didn't have that cup of sugar for my dear old granny's birthday cake. So I went to the next house. This guy was the First and Second Little Pigs' brother. He must have been the brains of the family. He had built his house of bricks.
I knocked on the brick house. No answer. I called, "Mr. Pig, Mr. Pig, are you in?" And do you know what that rude little porker answered? "Get out of here, Wolf. Don't bother me again."
Talk about impolite!
He probably had a whole sackful of sugar.
And he wouldn't give me even one little cup for my dear sweet old granny's birthday cake.
What a pig!
I was just about to go home and maybe make a nice birthday card instead of a cake, when I felt my cold coming on.
I huffed.
And I snuffed.
And I sneezed once again.
Then the Third Little Pig yelled, "And your old granny can sit on a pin!"
Now I'm usually a pretty calm fellow. But when somebody talks about my granny like that, I go a little crazy.
When the cops drove up, of course I was trying to break down this Pig's door. And the whole time I was huffing and puffing and sneezing and making a real scene.
The rest, as they say, is history.
The news reporters found out about the two pigs I had for dinner. They figured a sick guy going to borrow a cup of sugar didn't sound very exciting. So they jazzed up the story with all of that "Huff and puff and blow your house down." And they made me the Big Bad Wolf.
That's it.
The real story. I was framed.
But maybe you could loan me a cup of sugar?

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P4

Scorch · Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 5:19 am

haha i've heard that story. its funny Very Happy

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/me speaks Americanish

ZZ 109 · Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 3:52 am

Its a communist conspiracy to take over the goverment!

aRGhgHgH!!!

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epsy · Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 12:12 pm

...a good input for my spam plugin XD

P4 · Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 1:07 pm

i don't need spam plugins... Neutral

last time i've just entered fortress cafe i saw nice coredump so i pressed F11(hello), F4(pee-hee-hee) and F9(lwel node)... then i was bankicked by a server for 5 minutes... i just hate spam_protection as much as i hate spammers Wink

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P4

epsy · Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 1:38 pm

Don't worry, it's not on arma Wink

ZZ 109 · Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 1:43 pm

DAMN EPSY! she gave me a taste of her spam protection stuff and it went on for 5 minutes telling a story about some reliable guy lol

all i could here is my msn beeping 24/7 coz it wouldnt stop!

P4 when epsy gets her server up she doesnt have SPAM PROTECTION! buhahaha!!!!

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Luzifer · Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 3:11 pm

[quote="Legionnaire"]
P4 when epsy gets her server up she doesnt have SPAM PROTECTION! buhahaha!!!![/quote]

Is epsy female?

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Revenge is a dish best served cold
Creotronic

ZZ 109 · Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 3:56 pm

epsy is Luzifer.

What made you think she was a guy?

Though the way she played woulda given it away Wink

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epsy · Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 4:16 pm

could you tell me what kind of girl would take 14�C showers legi ? lol

and for that server i was so bored i removed spam protection and i'm too lazy to put it back Razz

ZZ 109 · Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 3:22 pm

The English invented cold showers to stop people from MASTURBATING you know!

his server is so cool.

spam, spam, spam, spam!

!delire

!nodelire

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epsy · Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 11:49 pm

!pwn legi works too

ZZ 109 · Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 2:49 pm

ahahahahaha no Mad

=)

Try make some command that makes my team or me die automatically. name it "pwn legi" LOL!

always find that i don't need commands or sub scripts to pwn epsy xD

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